Painless Endings Guest Entry

Dumb & Dumber

Im Dumb.

Im Dumber.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

Oh THATS real intelgint.

Whah?

Whah tyer doin.

Nuh Uh. Whah?

Keepin arguin to avoid a point.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh. That's not what Im doin. Im jist innanely arguin. Im stupider.

Nuh Uh. You jist made an intelgint point about arguin.

Nuh Uh. Im dumber PLUS Im stupid.

If yer dumb plus stupid that real smert cause that's twice as much as you wanna be.

That's so smart I didn't even unnerstan whah you jist sed, man. Im stupider.

No way. Im dumber n you.

Nuh Uh. I never unnerstand anything anybody ever sez. Im stupider.

You jist unnerstood I said Im dumber & you responded.

That sounds real smart like you jist made a good point. Yer smerter!

That wasn't smert, that was jist difensive. If I werz smart I'd go inta a deep filosoflical discusshin on the VAL-you of intelgince.

No way man, you sound real Articulate like yew wint ta colige er somthin. Yer WAY smart.

Nuh Uh. I jist herd sombuddy say that 'n I'm imitatin um.

That's pretty smert.

Nuh Uh. Even a parakeet kin imitate n he's difinitly not smert.

Nuh Uh. Parakeets er real smert.

How'd you know?

Cause I saw un 'n' he said sumpin without me askin im anythin.

How'd you know that's smart man?

Cause I don't know. I'm stupid, remember?

You got me man. Yer real intelgint.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

There you go again.

There I go agin whah?

Bein smart n arguin to avoid makin a point.

Im not arguin to avoid makin a point. Im arguin cause Im tired. This conversashun is using to much of my brain power.

How'd you know?

There YOU go agin.

Whah?

Trickin me by askin a question to prove a point later. LAWyers do it all the time n ther way smert.

I didn't do that. I asked because I really didn't know "How'd you know" cause I'm stupid.

Oh sure. Yer jist sayin that cause you want to be stupider.

No I don't. I really AM stupid.

Stupid my ass, BRAINO!

Me braino, yer the one talkin bout LAWyers n shit! and makin all those tellgint points.

You made as miny point's me bud.

Nuh Uh. How'd you know, anyway?

Cuz I jist know.

Cuz yer smert!

Yer really pissin me off, man.

Cuz you know Im right.

Nuh Uh. If I wuz smarter, I woodint be gittin MAD. Id be gittin EVEN.

You've bin gittin even this whole conversation, bub.

It's not a conversashin, COLLIGE Boy, its n ARGumint.

You n yer COCKtail party talk, werz yer COLLEAGES?

Whoh! "COLL-eegs" That's a perty sofisticated werd, man!

"Coleeg" isnt sufisticated. Its only sufisticated people that er colleagues.

Yer right, man. I confused the werd with its CONNOTASHUN. I guess Im stupider.

No way, man. That wuz ARTiculate n to the point.

Whah?

Whah you just said.

What I'd just say?

I don't know. I fergot cause Im stupid.

No way. Yer jist sayin that so you kin be stupider. Perty smart, bub.

Yer gittin on my nerves, man.

Cuz Im stupider n yer jealous.

Jelous of you? That's a joke.

You have to be smert to git jokes. Im stupider cause I didn't git it.

Git what?

Yer joke.

I didn't make a joke, I refered to one.

So?

So what?

So? Why'd you make a distinction b'tween makin one n referin to un?

Ther y'go agin stratagizin me inta a trap. Perty smart. Yer DAMN smert.

How'd ya figer?

Cuz not only do ya use TRAPS but ya make a damn good point about distintion & referin.

Im not smert, Im just RIGHT!

Right about what?

Im stupider.

Thet werked out rather nicely fer you. Perty slick.

It wasn't slick, it was jist RIGHT.

What's th' difernse?

I dont know, Im dumber.

Then why'd ya say it?

Cause Im stupid. Stupider n YOU!

Huh?

Whah?

You know!

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

I'm hungry.

Nuhuh. Go EAT then.

Nuh Uh. I WANT to but I don't know where. You tell me where.

I don't know. Im stupid.

Yer dumb. But Im dumber.

Eat shit.

I feel like shit.

Smart people feel like SHIT.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

Nuh Huh.

Nuh Uh.

...

By Anna Walsh

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