The realization that he is not
special hit him hard.
Always the charmer, the star of
many amusing anecdotes,
He was stunned to realize that
everyone felt the same
Everyone mattered
Everyone had stories to tell
No one wanted to see his vacation slides.

He had saved all his words
Hoping his friends and relatives
had saved them too
Hoping for a full retrospective
some posthumous day.

After the realization he
still kept them. The ego
is matched only by the
heart in its willingness to
cling to lost causes.

Jill-
The Duluth Collection

Take it
She says
Not looking up from her
crossword
It was more yours anyway.
He is stunned by her calm and sudden good sense. 5 down
Fuck you
12 across
Fuck you, you rat bastard
17 down
Go fuck yourself
Sure, take it.
No problem.

The little bald circle betrayed his age but in every other way his external
appearance was unchanged Which is why
He supposed
Old patterns leapt back so easily
His feet led him to the same old café
the same old sandwich
He ordered a different drink
but didn't enjoy it
Of course no one knew him
They hadn't known him before,
why should it…
He nibbled precisely and struggled to think
But in an old groove
Only old thoughts return
And his resolve melted away.