Once upon a time, there lived an ebullient cow. One day, while she was grazing, she found a magic wishing wand. She put her hoof in its special grip, and wandered over to the farmhouse, where the farmer, his wife, and his son were having dinner.
"Mom, Dad," said the farmer’s son, "the ebullient cow is at the door!"
"Bah," said the farmer.
The three of them put down their forks and knives, and rushed to the front door, where the ebullient cow stood, swishing its tail.
"Oh, look!" said the farmer’s wife. "The ebullient cow has found a magic wishing wand! We each can have three wishes! Anything we like!"
"Bah," said the farmer.
"I’ll go first!" shouted the farmer’s son happily. "Oh ebullient cow, I wish to hear you go ‘Moo!’"
"Moo," said the ebullient cow.
"Oh ebullient cow," he continued, "I wish for... some milk!"
The ebullient cow bent her knees slightly. The farmer’s son took a cup, and squirted some warm frothy milk into it. He drank; it was very good.
"Oh ebullient cow," he said finally, "I wish for... a cow pie!"
At this point a cow pie plopped down from the back of the ebullient cow. "Yay! I got my three wishes from the magic wishing wand!"
"Bah," said the farmer.
"My turn!" said the farmer’s wife.
The ebullient cow turned and walked a little ways back to the barn. The farmer, his wife, and his son followed. Soon, the ebullient cow stopped. The farmer’s wife moved around so she was looking straight into her eyes.
"Oh ebullient cow, I wish to hear you go ‘Moo!’" she said.
"Moo," said the ebullient cow.
"Oh ebullient cow," she continued, "I wish for... some milk!"
The ebullient cow bent her knees slightly. The farmer’s wife took the cup, and squirted some more warm frothy milk into it. She sipped; it was very good.
"Oh ebullient cow," she said finally, "I wish for... a cow pie!"
At this point a cow pie plopped down from the back of the ebullient cow. "Oh, darling, isn’t it wonderful?" she said to her husband, "A magic wishing wand!"
"Bah," said the farmer, "and bah again. Silly woman, silly boy. The ebullient cow has found quite an extraordinary magic wishing wand, and you two simpletons have wasted your wishes on ordinary things. Your minds are dull and limited, and thus your rewards have been dull and limited."
The farmer stood in front of the ebullient cow. "Oh, ebullient cow," he said, "I wish for... gold. Lots of it. Millions of dollars worth of it!"
The ebullient cow lowed at him, her brown eyes blinking sadly.
"Didn’t you hear me you silly cow? Gold, I say! I wish for gold!"
The ebullient cow bent her knees slightly. A single drop of milk formed on the tip of one of her udders.
The farmer jumped up and down with rage. "Obey me, ebullient cow! Obey me with your magic wishing wand! Produce gold!" He ran around to the back of the cow to receive his gold. All that plopped into his waiting hands was a cow pie.
The farmer’s wife sighed. "Well, dear, it seems that you have somehow broken the magic wishing wand."
"Nice one, Dad," said the farmer’s son.
The three of them walked back to the farmhouse in silence. The farmer’s wife and son went inside to finish their dinner. The farmer went around the back to clean himself off with the hose.
THE END
© 1997 by the Reverend Douglas James. All rights reserved.
Images © Laurel Palmer 1997