Wow! I never expected so many people to write in to ask Basho questions! My favorite cat's original column is shown below. Click on the picture of Basho to read more of his advice. (last updated 1/20/2001)
Dear Basho,
I have a problem. I have been married to a wonderful man for twenty-three years. He is very kind to me and my children from my first marriage, is a very good provider, and a loving husband. Recently, I found out that when he was 18 years old, he had married a 16 year old girl! They were together for two years, and then they divorced. He met me soon after, and never told me about his previous marriage. I’m not angry that he’d been married, but that he’s lied to me for so long. The trust has totally gone out of our relationship, which has caused arguments, which has bred resentment, etc. I wish I had never found out. Our great marriage is disintegrating, and neither of us know what to do about it. What should we do?
-Trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube
Dear Trying,
If I were in your position, I would find some cellophane or plastic, and chew on
it. Walk up to Anakin and growl at him. Then meow at the towel drawer for no reason.
I hope things work out for you!
-Basho
Dear Basho,
I think my mother is crazy. I mean I literally think she is crazy. She has always cried more than other moms, but lately she has started to cry a lot more. I mean, at least once a day. For the last year, I’ll occasionally come home from school to see her curled up on the couch, like a baby, sobbing. When anyone asks her what’s wrong, she just starts apologizing, and saying things like, "I don’t know and that just makes it worse." We are in a very small, remote community, so therapy is out of the question. What should we do?
-Concerned about my mom.
Dear Concerned,
Get someone to watch you eat. Lick any exposed photograph or glossy magazine
cover, then meow a lot while staring at the towel-drawer for no reason. Good luck to you!
-Basho
Many people talk about the wisdom of age, and also the primitive wisdom of our animal friends. As of the year 2000, Basho is Bar-Mitzvah age in human years, which makes him 91 years old in Cat Years. So he is old, animal, and legally responsible according to Jewish law. Do you have any problems? Ask Basho the Cat. He will use his feline earth-wisdom to help you. Email bashomail@dougshaw.com with your problems, and Basho will tell you how to solve them.
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Doug
Code 5/2000: xqcb home is ncwwobp hcm ykgkbcnocmp kcb? efpb wfmmokp! -eifg pqcx
